You are never too old to have a Sleepover

            Think back to the days when being with your friends was the most wonderful feeling in the world. The moments you can go back to and the things you remember most are the laughs and secrets you all shared. However, growing up changes things. Sometimes, we lose friendships and find what we may think are more important things.  More important than simply having fun with the people you can be yourself around without feeling judged. There have been rough patches with my group of friends, just like any other group I’m sure. But no matter what, we somehow always find a way to make our friendships last. This weekend, one of my closest friends turned eighteen. Our group was getting back together to have one of our annual birthday sleepovers! There was only one thing that was holding me back; the fact that it had been a few years since we’d had our last sleepover. I was afraid it was going to be awkward or not as fun as it used to be. I was afraid we had outgrown our sleepover days.

            We started with food, as any great party would. It was just like our usual social talk, the ones we have at lunch. Then we moved to the living room to watch a chick flick, The Devil Wears Prada. When the movie got over it was only about eleven o’clock, but what else were we to do? This is when I figured it out. No matter how old you get, you are never too old to find fun, you never lose your imagination. You are never to old to have a sleepover. We ended up playing a game called Headbandz. Those laughs we shared back then were the same laughs we are sharing today. Needless to say, our night did not end there. Or with the next movie we watched. Actually, our night did not end until the next morning, three hours before I had to be at work for a seven hour waitressing shift.

            Anyway, there are two things I have learned from this sleepover.

1. Two hours of sleep is not enough to hold you throughout an entire day of perverted truckers.
2. It doesn’t matter how old you get, as long as you have your friends, you can have sleepovers.

Secret Strength

Do you ever have one of those really tough days when you feel like everything that could possibly go wrong, has? You just want to give up and hope that maybe tomorrow will be ten times better. It happens to the best of us. However, it shouldn’t be something that happens very frequently, but if it does, you’ve got to be a very strong person to be able to handle it.

            I would like to dedicate this blog to my friend, Erin Aragon. Erin and I first met when we were still in elementary school because our older brothers just so happened to be best friends. She was a very shy girl until she opened up to you. Growing up, I was always jealous of her. She had the coolest toys, the best movies; she even played the piano so wonderfully. So when we would hang out, I would always somehow try to find a way to impress her. Sometimes we would go out to the mountains near her house and climb rocks all day. Although I have admitted recently that I hated climbing rocks because I was afraid of heights, I never would have told her that in the past. Erin was someone I looked up to. Today, that truth remains the same.

            Erin has a secret strength to her. Just this year she has been through so many difficult circumstances. Things like death, surgery, and even her father leaving to war. Things that you and I would probably find very difficult to withstand. When I was younger, I admired Erin for the things she had. Today, I admire her for her strength. Her ability to keep on fighting and never give up, no matter what the day has stored ahead of her. Erin is one of my best friends and has always been there for me from the start. It’s kind of crazy to think about who and why people come into our lives. I believe Erin is in mine to show me a lesson I might have never known without her: we all have a secret strength somewhere inside of us.

Stranger

Dear _____,

           

            Yes, I did mean to leave a space there. I am already eighteen years old and I have no idea, not one clue as to what to call you. I don’t know your name, obviously. But, I don’t even have a nickname for you. One thing someone might call you is “grandpa.” But, I don’t think you deserve that name. I was thinking something more along the lines of chicken, abandoner, or even stranger. Okay, a like that one. Dear Stranger, I do not know you, nor do you know me. I wonder if you even know if I exist. You left when my dad was just a boy. He was so young, barely learning how to ride a bike, how to throw a baseball. You left him alone, waiting for someone else to help him learn. Luckily, he has a mom and an older brother that love him very much. They love him enough to try and take your place in teaching him, helping him grow, even loving him, because for some reason you didn’t feel capable enough to do so. Why did you leave anyway? Why did you decide to divorce my grandma and make her raise three boys on her own? When I was younger and more naïve, I used to be sad for my dad and for grandma. I used to ask my dad, “Why would he just leave you? Did he not think you were pretty enough?” I never noticed the gloss in my dad’s eyes when he would smile at me and say, “I guess he couldn’t see the beauty of having a child. He didn’t know that I would grow up and have a beautiful baby just like he did.” So now that I am older, I see the things I did not see then. I am not sad for my grandma. It makes me really happy actually to see how happy she is and how much better off she is without the “stranger.” I see how strong she is. Growing up I’ve seen how strong our family has been. And even though we are not the traditional Brady Bunch, I see the beauty in us. I hope you see it too, all of the things you lost.

Love,

 Your Granddaughter

Or, stranger.

Decisions

Every morning we wake up having to make decisions. There are simple things like whether you should wear a t-shirt or a tank top. Then there are more important things like deciding whether you should stay home and eat dinner with your mom, or go out and see your friends. Decisions. It’s senior year and I am barely thinking about these little demons. This is the time when we should know exactly what we are doing, where we are going, and how we are going to get there. But what happens if you don’t know? I have never known what I wanted to do for my future. I mean, I knew I wanted to go to college and get a degree, but I didn’t know where or when or how long it would take me to get there. Now it is getting pretty close to time for me to make yet another decision.         

Saturday morning my mom woke me up yelling at me to open the letter I received in the mail. It was from the college I had been waiting for a response from, the University of Arizona. The letter had said I was accepted. Hooray! My mom was so excited, she told everyone she knew about the news before I even had the chance to get up and brush my teeth. It makes sense that she would act this way though, since I will be the first in my family to attend college, let alone even graduate high school. I was excited too but in the back of my head I was still debating on every other decision I would have to make before I chose to pack up and leave.

High school is a scary place. It is like our second home. The place we learn, prepare, and grow. There is no doubt if I had the decision to never go to school, I would not even give it a second thought. College is the same way. We are not yet finished growing. College is just another decision waiting to be made. You just have to decide whether it is a simple one or a more important one.  So when I fell asleep on Saturday night I had to believe that making this decision to go to UofA was the best opportunity for me. I had to stop telling myself that I have all the time in the world because, well, I really don’t. Decisions. You decide.